Starting over, at home
Keep it, sell it, or start fresh somewhere new. Plain answers to the questions nobody hands you a checklist for, from someone who has sat where you're sitting.
Run your numbers Talk privatelyNo forms to explain your situation. No pressure. Just a conversation.
Why I do this
[ELIZABETH'S WORDS, 3 to 5 sentences. Her own story, told only as far as she wants it told. We will not publish any detail of her divorce she hasn't written or approved herself.]
What I learned is that the house questions arrive all at once, right when you have the least energy for them. So I wrote down the answers I wish someone had given me, in plain English.
I'm a REALTOR, not an attorney or a lender. Where the answer belongs to one of them, I'll say so, and I'll help you find the right one.
The three paths
Usually means one of you buys the other out and takes over the mortgage alone. The real question is whether the payment works on one income.
Often the cleanest split. The timing, the price and who signs what usually follow your agreement, so the sale plan and the legal plan need to match.
Buying your own place, sometimes for the first time in your own name. There are programs and steps that make this easier than it sounds.
The questions I hear most
Maybe, and it comes down to two things: whether you can qualify for the mortgage on your own, and how the equity gets divided. If your spouse is keeping a share of the equity, you'll usually need cash or a refinance to pay it out.
Before you fight for the house, run the numbers on one income: the payment, taxes, insurance and the upkeep. I can help you see what it would sell for today, so you know what you're actually negotiating over.
No. A quitclaim deed takes a name off the title. It does not take a name off the mortgage. Whoever signed the loan stays responsible for it until the loan is refinanced, paid off, or the lender formally releases them.
That's why most "keep the house" plans include a refinance into one name. Ask your attorney how your agreement handles it.
Lenders look at your own income, credit and debts. If you'll receive support, lenders can often count it, but they usually want it written into the agreement, received for a while, and continuing for a few years. The exact rules depend on the loan.
A good loan officer can tell you what you qualify for before the divorce is final, so you're making decisions with real numbers.
Often, yes. If both names are on the title, both of you will usually need to sign. Many couples agree to sell during the process and split the proceeds the way their agreement says. Your attorneys should agree on the plan before the sign goes in the yard.
Start with a lender conversation, then a short list of what you actually need: rooms, school district, commute, how much house you want to take care of. Some first-time buyer programs also count people who only owned a home with a former spouse, so ask your lender if you qualify.
No. A conversation with me stays between us. I won't add you to a mailing list, and I won't reach out to anyone else involved.
Run your own numbers
Rough numbers, on your screen only. Nothing you type here is saved or sent anywhere.
Your agreement decides this. 50% is only a starting point.
Car, student loans, minimum card payments. Not utilities or groceries.
If you're just starting
Know where you stand before a lender looks. Free at annualcreditreport.com.
The balance, the rate and whose names are on the loan. You'll need it for every conversation.
A real number, not a guess from a website. Ask me for one; it's free and it stays private.
Payment, taxes, insurance, utilities and upkeep. That's the number that decides "keep or sell".
Even if you're months away. Knowing what you can qualify for changes what you ask for.
We'll lay out keep, sell or start fresh side by side, with real numbers, before anything is decided.
A private conversation
Your name and the best way to reach you is enough. Everything else is optional. It comes straight to me, and nowhere else.